Those of you who don't know what Toddlers and Tiaras is, God bless you. For those of you who do, God have mercy on your soul.
Toddlers and Tiaras is a show on TLC, a network which now has an apparent target audience of pedophiles. The show documents young pageant girls in the competitive world of beauty pageanting. Or whatever the verb version of pageant is. Yeah, that's a perfectly acceptable program for The Learning Channel to air. But I digress.
So, this might just be me, but I don't really like other people's kids. Well, except for child molestation. I definitely do not like to watch other people's kids on television. Especially not when they are getting spray tans and parading around in bikinis. I find that sort of repulsive. Here, let me show you a still from the show:
Yeeeaah... How did this clear the FCC?
Seriously? Really, America? This is what we entertain ourselves with?
Honestly, this is more than a little depressing. I mean, who is benefiting from this show besides perverts whose internet access was restricted by the FBI? Is there really someone out there who turns on the TV and is like "Holy shit! 'Toddlers and Tiaras' is on! Best. Night. Ever."
The next thing I'd like to address is the fucking crazy people these girls call "Mom." Most of them are overweight, way past their prime (if they ever had a prime), and living through their daughters.
Oh, Hell yes. How can I get in on that
sweet, sweet loving?
These ladies must drink the essence of psycho bitch for breakfast. Literally. These mothers could honestly not give less of a shit about their child's well being. "Oh, what? Your slutty sailor outfit is rubbing the flesh off of you? Well, honey, how about FUCK YOU?!?!"
They spend their time evenly split between dominating their daughter's lives and telling their husbands to be more supportive. How supportive can a man be of this horrible shit? I mean, he's already allowing his wife to turn his daughter into a crazy skank, what do they expect from him? One mother explains that she just wants her husband to show support in person. Okay, it's one thing for a man to sit around his own home and eagerly watch his daughter prance around in knee high fishnets, but to go to an event where there are thirteen other girls in such attire... That'd just lose him respect. You know, because the father of a four year old beauty pageant girl is one of the community's most respectable members.
Plus, we have a feeling you'd end up with
a lot of dead babies if this guy had to sit through a pageant full of them.
Right, so, there's the dead baby reference for this post. Happy, Allie?
Aaaand that's all I got for this. Hope all your molestings go well, hope to post next week.
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