I also plan on insulting my audience as much as possible. I will begin now, by telling you I imagine half of you to look like this:
At least you are patriotic
So there's that. I might also add that I'm relatively offensive, so if you think there is nothing funny about dead babies or rape, then you're gay. Just kidding, but seriously, I don't care if I offend you. In fact, I kind of prefer it that way.
That said, I hope you like what you read.
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